Jessica here from True Crime NZ. This is a bit of a different podcast today, just to update you on some changes that have been happening in our lives and the future of the podcast.
So first I will reintroduce myself and my husband.
We are both quite introverted people so have not made our personalities much of a presence with this podcast but we are feeling ready to change that.
I am 35, I work in office administration. I am from Auckland but now live in Wellington. I live a very quiet life with my husband. We have two cats Glinda and Kiara, who we adore. I love reading, old movies and spending time with my parents.
My husband is a very creative person who writes a lot, both for the podcast and on his own scripts and stories. The podcast is a real passion for him. He works really hard on it, he does all the research, writing and editing for it and really puts his whole heart into it. This podcast came out of a point where he was feeling low emotionally and needed direction and this has been a wonderful and productive avenue for his creativity.
Now I wanted to share some things we have been going through lately. We have been trying to have a baby since the end of 2018 and despite now four years of trying we have not had any luck. This has been really hard. I have always wanted to be a mother and now that I am 35 and still childless that feeling is getting stronger and stronger, as is the fear that it might not happen for us.
I wanted to talk about this with you all because I don’t have very many friends and I know many in our audience are female so thought this might be a struggle for some of you out there as well. Something they don’t tell you about infertility is how lonely it is. All the girls I grew up with now have children and to me, it just feels like my life is stalled because my body just can’t seem to do this. My husband has been wonderful and supportive and I know this is hard on him as well because I know he will make a wonderful father, but I would love to talk to anyone out there that may be going through this, so I don’t feel so alone.
The good news is we now have a plan in place. We have been to the fertility specialists and the best option for us at this point is in vitro fertilization (IVF). Unfortunately, you need to have been trying for 5 years to qualify for public funding so this is something we will have to fund ourselves.
The strain of this financial hurdle has led us to the decision to finally start a discussion of a Patreon page. This has been something we have put off doing for a myriad of reasons, the fear of failing, the fear of turning something we enjoy so much into a job. The biggest reason being that we are dealing with a topic such as true crime. These are real people and real victims we are talking about and the thought of making money off these stories is something that has always made us a bit uneasy. We do not currently make money off this podcast, in fact with the cost of the upkeep of the website, recording equipment, and storage for the archives of the episodes, we have actually been losing money on the podcast.
The Patreon page is something that we will think about and possibly create in the future (possibly the new year). We would love any feedback on what you’d want from a Patreon. For example, early access to episodes, bonus episodes, names in the show notes etc.
To be absolutely clear, this is not an announcement of us starting a Patreon but us feeling out the waters if this is something our audience would be interested in.
We apologize for the delay in getting up the next episode but with everything that has been happening we have been a bit distracted and busy with other obligations but my husband is hard at work on it now. It will discuss (perhaps appropriately) a not-so-well-known scandal from the 1920s involving baby farming. The story will be told in two parts and has required a huge amount of research (more than we previously thought it would) but hopefully will be worth the wait.
I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for all their support. It means the world to both of us that anyone is even listening to our little podcast which we record with me hunched over in our closet. Every time someone sends an encouraging message or leaves a nice review or even responds to a Facebook post it honestly warms our hearts. We love the little community of listeners we have here and would love to hear from you about future episodes, suggestions you might have or honestly if anyone just wants to chat. If you have made it this far thank you so much for your time and so much for listening.
True Crime New Zealand
Music sourced from:
“Sincerely” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
4 thoughts on “TCNZ PODCAST UPDATE V”
Kia ora Jessica. I just heard your sad fertility news. I found myself unable to have children. I’m now 67. At the time the loss was bitter & I also felt lonely & frustrated at my body’s inability to do what all my friends did with such ease. However I came to an understanding that this was my future (not necessarily yours!). I resolved to build strong loving relationships within my family & friendship groups. I have six nieces and enjoy close bonds with them & their children. Only ten years ago I married a man with 2 adult sons & tho I’m not their Mum, my ethos of whanau love saw me build strong bonds with them. Now I’m a Nana. I couldn’t have been a Nana if I hadn’t spent my younger years learning exactly what love is, how to give & receive it. If you are able to love, you will never be lonely. Jessica, don’t define yourself as ‘childless’. You& your darling husband & your cats are a family. Family is a circle of love, big, small, elastic as hell. Nurture your circle of love & tell Alexa ‘play We Are Family’ and dance baby dance. Arohanui, Nana Pinky
Keep believing in yourselves it’s a tough road as my wife & I know only to well. Remember you always have each other.
Ive Got an Idea for your patreon page. Me personally I dont subb to any patreon pages but I get the concept. You could do some on location ones, thats what I like doing on my show. there’s some pretty bonkas Wellington cases, like have ever heard the story about the beep beep tunnel? some total wack job killed his pregnant teenage girlfriend and stuck her in the mt Vic tunnel. her name was Phillis Symons I think and her abusive boyfreind was an engineer working on the mt Vic tunnel, first tunnel in the southern hemisphere to be fully ventilated or something like that. They managed to get her out, she was on the Hataitai side above the walkway on the right, just as you enter the tunnel from Hataitai. you could film a clip with audio of people beeping there car horns, thats why the people of Wellington beep but they dont know why. I got the idea of doing on location ones from Cara Brownlee does one where they go behind Onslow collage to where school girl Vannessa Woodman got stabbed by Nicholas hawker. Theres one on my channel called South Island Sex Worker Murders where Im filming form the corner of Petersbourgh and Manchester street. No less than 3 sex workers standing on that corner got murdered, Rene Duckmanton, Mallory Manning and Suzie Southerland. I’ve done a couple of those baby farmer cases on my channel as well but not on location. you could film where the old terrace goal was, that’s where Daniel Richard Cooper got hung. you know behind Vic Uni? there’s a road go’s down to a dead end past the Uni accommodation and there’s a Field? its just above the very top of able smith street and Te Aro school and all that. that’s where the terrace goal used to be.
In regard to those problems you and your husband are having, mabey you could take a part time job to save up for IVF. or you could always adopt, you don’t have to have 3 kids and white picket fence, plus a puppy and an electric car. I want to have kids myself good luck, all the best. Chef………..New Zealand Murder History Podcast
Personally. I think you should start a Patreon page with your husband. But, you should be prepared for the fact that people who support you through Patreon do like to have fairly regular posts and updates etc. This doesn’t have to mean that they should get full episodes every week etc., but little life and your adventures update posts, bloopers… those sorts of things that really make people connect with you both. That connection will have people embracing you, and wanting to support you.
I think releasing the podcast a day or two earlier to your patrons is also a good way of rewarding them for their loyalty and support.
My wife and I also found ourselves not being able to conceive, though my wife was in her late 30’s when we married…we had the belief of “if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen.” We didn’t use protection at all, and it obviously wasn’t meant to be. I don’t think either of us that the very strong maternal urge that you seem to be having, and I’m sorry that it’s hard for you guys right now. I hope whatever does happen, you’ll both be happy with the outcome eventually. Maybe you can find fulfillment in adopting or fostering children in need, maybe you will have children yourself… maybe, as we have, you will find some fulfillment just in having friends and family, and close relationships with the children of your friends and siblings…I wish you both happiness ahead.